10 June 2020

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The local newspaper heard a prominent bear had come to town; reporter, Vanessa deVinet, was sent to interview Professor Piaget (PJ for short since not many people can pronounce “Piaget”). Here is that interview:

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Reporter: Professor, why have you come to Australia?

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PJ: When I heard about the ‘Bear Hunt with The Bears Down Under’ I had to come and see for myself. It’s long been thought there are unusual bears in Australia. But, as an ursinologist, one who studies bears, I know there has never been a sighting of a single bear in this part of the world. There are koalas – but they aren’t really bears; that was a case of mistaken identity. Koalas look like a bear, but are really marsupials, like kangaroos and other animals that carry their young in a pouch.

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Reporter: Yes some people (even here in Australia) still think koalas are bears. And it’s true (outside of a zoo) there are no bears here. So, what makes you think you’ll find bears?

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PJ: Well, for many years I’ve heard of ‘The Bears Down Under’ – who are quite a different cluster of bears. They could be a myth, an urban legend, perhaps even mistaken identity like the koalas, but most definitely not ‘fake news’. Nevertheless, I, Professor Piaget (PJ for short) have come to investigate, and whether they are legend or real, in whatever form they exist, I WILL find the truth!

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Reporter: So you’ve done quite a bit of research on bears?

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PJ: Oh, yes indeed. My entire career has been about researching the bears of the world; the only ones I’ve yet to find are this elusive group. My understanding is that they have been around for quite a long time. And, I understand, they may have made an appearance here just a few weeks ago! But so far I’ve only found a cast of bear actors who played ‘The Bears Down Under’ in a local bear hunt. I spoke with them, but they too were unable to verify the claim whether ‘The Bears Down Under’ are fact or fantasy.

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Reporter: If you discover these extraordinary bears what’s next?

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PJ: My sole mission is to first find if these bears even exist. If they do exist I hope to study them in their natural habitat. The most exciting part, if ‘The Bears Down Under’ do exist, they will be the first non-hibernating bears ever found in this part of the Southern Hemisphere!

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Reporter: Anything else you’d like to say?

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PJ: Well, my dear, I’m very good at solving mysteries and reading between the lines. If there’s a mystery I will solve it. If there’s a story I shall tell it! Now, may I ask YOU a question?

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Reporter: Of course.

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PJ: Have you ever heard of ‘Arktos’ or a place called ‘Arktos-by-the-Sea?’

Reporter: No, I can’t say that I have. Is it important to your search?

PJ: Perhaps, but... I can’t say for sure...

 

(The Professor wanders off murmuring to herself).

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Reporter: So begins the adventures of Professor Piaget (PJ for short). The Professor has graciously allowed our very own photographer, Percy Pandamonium, to accompany her on this expedition. She has also agreed to grant access (to a very select group – of which you are one if you’re reading this) to her field notes, journals, personal diaries and photos. As you follow PJ’s quest, you too may find the truth about “The Bears Down Under."

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